


His Heart Will Open

by Arctic_Cyclist



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: 2017, Damian's bonding issues aren't always his fault, Deathstroke #5, DickDamiWeek, Forbidden, Gotham does weird things to people's sex lives, House of Leaves, Nightwing (2011) 17 & 18, There is only one otp for Tim, and it gets unhealthy, dirty minds think alike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 01:49:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11476059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arctic_Cyclist/pseuds/Arctic_Cyclist
Summary: DickDami week 2017: ForbiddenThere are rules against what Damian wants to do. Dick knows this, but he wants it too, and has for years.





	His Heart Will Open

"Please, Richard, pretty please?" Damian sighs, and turns his massive ocean colored eyes up to implore Dick. "You know you want to do this as much as I do. Why are you resisting? Don't deny you haven't been thinking about it since I was ten."

Shoving his littlest brother down, Dick shakes his head. "I have-"

"Then why are you refusing me?" 

Cupping Damian's face with his hands and stroking the smooth, warm, sand colored skin, he says, "It would be wrong, Dami. Bruce would never approve, and if Alfred catches us-"

Sensing weakness, Damian steps closer. Dick catchs a whiff of his hair. He's using the all natural, biodegradable shampoo made by a women's commune from REI again. Until Damian moved in, Dick didn't realize Gotham had an REI. He was not surprised to know that Ra's is a member. Depending on the Pit, al Ghuls either come out megalomaniacs or back to earth hippies. There is no middle ground. 

He's glad Damian didn't go in the Pit. Dick's done the megalomaniac version of Damian. He isn't sure he could handle it again, or a peace and love hippie child smelling of patchouli. None of them could handle a hippie Robin and there are hints that it's going to happen. Damian is already a vegetarian and likes yoga. Worse, some idiot has given him a hemp necklace with ying-yang bead. He's wearing it now. A sign of terrible things to come. 

"Alfred is gone for the night," the impossible boy states and then smirks. "I have arranged for an old flame from his service days to meet him. Since he knows that I am fully capable of taking care of myself, you, and the animals without mishaps or destroying the house, he won't be back tonight. We will see him tomorrow, tie undone and shirt unbuttoned in the debonair style he keeps attempting to teach Bruce. Pennyworth will be reeking of Chanel number five, inordinately cheerful, and will bounce around as if he were you or Brown. Don't worry about him noticing. We could adopt an orphanage again and he wouldn't notice the extra two dozen kids for at least a week."

"Wait. Adopted an orphanage? I knew about you rescuing the entirety of a kill animal shelter, but when did you bring home twenty four kids? Are they still here?" He scans for signs of assorted children. Damian's good, one of the best, but even he can't keep that many kids hidden for long. There will be signs. Juice boxes. Small hand prints. Diapers or an excess of dirty clothes. Alfred and Bruce questioning their sanity. Dick sniffs the air. It doesn't smell like children. It smells like the lemon oil Damian uses to polish the furniture.

Duke and the others have been befuddled by Damian having chores and not them. But as the boy has said with asperity, if he expects it to all be his someday, he should know how to take care of it. Which is fine. No one is going to complain about him doing their laundry. Much. If he wants to use them to learn how to properly care for children, more power to them. Dick loves having his hair brushed and nails done, as does everyone else.

"They've been properly re-homed with forever families. I maintain surveillance contact with them to ensure that the new parents are doing an acceptable job. There are only Bruce Wayne sanctioned animals and people in the manor and assorted Wayne properties at this time. Except for Mr Hairy Pants. Bruce isn't aware that Drake and I have invited the squirrel to move in as an apology for Drake's behavior."

Relaxing, Dick files away the orphans to drill Alfred about. He is being herded, nudged towards the study by his pushy, insistent, yet utterly adorable brother. If he doesn't focus and resist, Dick will find himself in a situation that, as much as he wants to be in, is bad. Explicitly forbidden by Batman. 

"Just because Alfred is out with an old girlfriend-"

"Boyfriend. He's pan just like everyone else in this city. Don't look at me like that, it's impossible to live in Gotham and not be a furry or develop strange ideas about plants and mud. Anywhere else Cobblepot would not get laid, much less be a chick magnet."

After a moment of thinking that over, he tilts his head and shudders. Robin is right, no one in Gotham is straight. The closest anyone gets to being straight are gays and lesbians. 

"Just because Alfred is out having a gay old time doesn't mean we won't get caught. Oracle and Proxy both maintain surveillance on the entire house in general and the cave in particular."

"They won't tell. They think it's cute and want to watch."

They are outside the study door, on the red carpet. He digs his feet into the thick wool. That the women would want to watch is not surprising. Those two have always been voyeurs.

"Uh huh. And who was it that liked watching you and Jason experiment but still told Alfred and got him sent under deep cover? Or told about how your 'bonding' time with Tim almost got him killed?"

Damian pouts and kicks the carpet. 

"Oracle. But this is different. There's no potential for lasting harm, or enraged squirrels like the Jason and Tim incidents. I understand that my desire to understand American culture and beer drinking in my underwear could be construed as problematic. But Oprah has excellent book recommendations that are relevant to my life. And both Pennyworth and Todd have been book club buddies with my mother for years. I merely wished to understand them better."

"By hanging out with Jason watching daytime talk shows and drinking beer."

"Of course. And how was I to realize that Tim couldn't follow simple directions like spit, don't swallow? I was under the impression that he was the best, most obedient Robin ever. Given that Pennyworth had been his valet for a year, I assumed he could be taken out in public. I didn't expect that a coffee cupping could result in a caffeine overdose and a massive war with a horde of enraged squirrels. Who steals pizza from a squirrel!? Who does that!? Tim Drake on twice the lethal dose of caffeine, that's who. At least Mister Hairy Pants has forgiven us. We do need a better name for him. Drake is terrible at names. Case in point: Red Robin."

During Damian's defensive rant, he hasn't stopped herding Dick. They are at the clock. The last feasible point to turn back. To run the other way and deny himself yet again. 

"I saved it for you. This is something I don't want to experience first with anyone else. I've been waiting for you to do this with me since I was ten. You promised, and even though I didn't survive the next week you did. Please, Dick. I've been waiting for years to play Sword Walkers on on the Bat Computer."

Titus nudges Dick's hand, and he rubs the warm velvet fur. Tries not to look down at Damian and his animals all aiming sad looks at him. On cue, because his baby brother is evil and capable of complicated plans, Sarah McLachlan starts playing from the surround sound system. Not even Tim will go as far as channeling the ASPCA commercials to get something. That's why Damian's the bad Robin and has pets. The rest of them just have issues.

"Fine." Dick says and flings open the clock. "Since you saved your Sword Walkers virginity for me. But Damian? Be prepared to suffer because I didn't save mine for you. I played it as part of my cover for a job in Spyral."

"Tt. As if it matters Grayson. You have always needed all the help you can get when challenging me."

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: Squirrels are major predators of young birds and bunnies. 
> 
> I adore the fact that back in one of the annuals/specials of Dick!Bat's days, there's a canon scene of Damian sitting on the counter eating cereal out of the box because Dick finished off the milk. Alfred walks in in a fantastic mood, clothes all disheveled and rather sexy for being the DC Universe grandpa, and he admits he was out all night having sex. Even better is the call back to it in the 2011 Batman and Robin series when Damian sends Bruce to Europe on a scavenger hunt and arranges it so that Alfred can hook up with an old flame. A happy Alfred creates a happy home, and Damian has been shown regularly in canon manipulating people into positive situations to reduce household stress. It's a neat little throwback to his history of PTSD and abuse, because some survivors of abuse use keeping everyone happy and calm as a coping mechanism. If you read any of the pre-Damian comics, Talia does it too since her history is as violent and abusive as her son's.
> 
> Proper etiquette at any tasting event is to spit so as to keep the palate clear. Tim ought to know that, but Tim isn't the sort that can waste coffee. Coffee is his life, coffee and Zesti soda are his blood. His tolerance to caffeine far exceeds a normal person's as well as most metas. When it comes to sex it's irrelevant to discuss spit versus swallow since only idiots have unprotected sex. Unless it's a long term committed relationship with regular STI testing, the whole spit versus swallow debate doesn't matter because people who care about themselves and others use condoms and dental dams, or in a pinch Saran Wrap, every time.


End file.
